Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Ways to make my momma crazy that should not be done prior to Christmas aka phone conversations that will make your momma want to kill youJ

#1-Voice Mail from my momma

Melissa you need to help(frantic voice) OMG the cops are at Jamie’s house arresting her. You need to do something (crying) oh please help her.

Me-Giggle Giggle delete

#2-1st Conversation after voice mail

Me-Why are you calling me to do something? It is not like I am Superwoman and gonna swoop in and rescue her from Sioux Falls finest. She obviously did something that got her in trouble she gots to pay the piper someday.

Mom-Scream-Blah-Blah-Scream (click) she hangs up on me


Mom-You need to go bail her out find out what it costs.

Me-Um yeah not bailing her out it is 1400

Mom-Meellliissaa help her

Me-Remember I have paid her cell bill since Jan last one cost a grand, besides if she is in there over Christmas it will save me some money 1 less to cook for and 1 less to buy more gifts for.

Mom- Scream-Blah-Blah-Scream (click) she hangs up on me


Me-Hi Mommy (super cheery voice) are you busy I am shopping want to help me figure out food for Christmas Eve?

Mom- How can you even think about that while your sister is sitting in jail? You are terrible!!

Me-Well if you think about it she would want us to go on with our lives no crying for her.

Mom- Scream-Blah-Blah-Scream (click) she hangs up on me

Me thinking this sure is getting fun woohooo my mom is ready to explode and if you know my mom she is as subtle as an atomic bomb when she is pissed off.
Now it is Tuesday am and my sister is still sitting in the clink she has court today at 1:30 I am going to go watchJ This is better than TV but the real moral of this story is QUIT ASKING ME FOR MONEY I AM NOT A FUCKING BANK. Just because I have money does not mean I am going to fork it over for everyone else. Besides my sister was picked up on a pre-Christmas warrant sweep she had 3 FAILURE TO APPEARS I figure if she stayed in jail last night at least we would not have to worry about her appearing.


phil mckracken said...

A BANK??? I wouldn't have ANY idea how that feels.....LOL. Shit, all my friends are loyal customers as well....That is until they burn the "pay-back" bridge. Then all ties are broken and they are eventually phased out of the "fun-loop" (that would be time with me, of course). ;)

Mommi Tutu said...

Oh Melissa where do I start?! ROFLMAO at this post! Jeez . . .it actually sounds like my Baby Daddy - haha.
You are good - stay strong:)
And thanks for the comment - I appreciate your insightfulness! See you soon. M22

Slick said...

Well, there comes a time when grown folks need to learn a lesson or two.

In your sister's case...3 lessons. How can you have 3 failures to appear?!!

Looks like she's gonna learn the hard way.