Thursday, November 29, 2007

Please take a moment today and say a prayer of peace and comfort for Ursula, Ignacio, Sofia and Alexia's entire family. Last night Alexia passed away, finally free from the beast of cancer definitly not the outcome I have prayed for. 2 1/2 years ago when I met this little warrior I told her story to my Patho II class and there was not a dry eye left when I was done. She was a true inspiration and her brief life touched so many others.

Little Princess you will be high sweet girl!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Prayers Please......

It is not often that I ask anyone for favors but today I need ALL of you to say a prayer or a 100 for a special little girl. Alexia is coming to the end of her 3 year battle with cancer she is currently in the PICU in Duke Univ. hospital. Amazingly she is not showing any blasts (cancer cells) in her blood but is suffering from high blood pressure, kidney failure and respitory distress due to bleeding in her lungs. This little one is a true warrior and has fought long and hard, I am asking you all to pray for no more pain and suffering for her and peace for her wonderful parents Ursula & Ignacio they are amazing.

Please take a minute today and say a prayer maybe visit her site and leave some words for her family. I know Ursula reads them all and appreciates the support.

Thank You!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!!
I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday!!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Holiday Hell

Only a few days before Thanksgiving….where the hell did the year go? I cannot believe it is already the holiday season what a bummer that 2007 went so fast. What a crock of shit that I will be 31 in 13 days I am freaking old.

This year for the holidays I do not even know….I am at a loss for words for the first time in 5 years I am only cooking for Brent, his dad, Bill and the kids. Not one of my family members will come to dinner at my house because of Brent. He has pretty much lost any support from my family with his actions and behavior over the past year. Last night my sister called and was pretty upset and told me I should tell them all to “Go eat a fucking turkey sandwich and let us have our normal holiday”. She refuses to come out here and that is killing me. I will miss being with my family. The laughter, the love, the bitching, beating up my little brother and having them all here. I usually cook for 20-30 people and we generally invite all our friends out for wine and pie in the evening. It is going to be a lonely holiday….I am really sad.

I tried to explain the dynamic behind this to a friend of mine it is pretty much like the female mafia either you are in or you are out and if you get booted out you will never get back in. I hate to say it but partially because of this my marriage is dead in the water. I cannot be with someone who disrespects my family and whose actions have caused my family to despise him.

Oh holly jolly hell the holidays are going to be a gas. Please pass the Shiraz it is going to be a LONG 7 weeks.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Dear Mr President

Awesome song...............

Pink-Dear Mr President

Laughable shit for the day!

There are times in your life as a parent that you just need to stop and say “Oh Shit” well yesterday was one of them.

We had a teacher comp day so the kids were out at 1, I got out the craft supplies and told them to make some stuff while I laid down for an hour. Well during the time I was sleeping one of the girls (not mine) wrote a note to her boyfriend that was pretty graphic. I let them go up to the skate park when I got up so I could clean up and I found IT.

I being the immature person I am read the note and had to call Traci and share with her, we were howling with laughter for bout 15 min. Then Traci said OMG call her mother and give her the note. This is where things get even funnier because I not only have the youngest 4th grader in school I am the youngest parent of a 4th grader in our school district. I get a lot of shit about being the “Baby” and I am 30. I called her mother and went down to her house to give her the note.

I will add the entire time I was there I had to pinch myself to keep from busting up laughing. I know I am so immature and the situation would not be as funny if it was my kid….but it wasn’t and I think it is fucking funny. Her momma Lori was reading the cute side of the note and was looking at me like I was crazy for being concerned so I told her “Damn woman flip that shit over and read the good stuff”

How to have sex
By a 5th grader age 10
Step 1-Make out with our girlfriend
Step2-5 Take your clothes off
Step 6-Get into bed
Steps 7-10-Take your girlfriends clothes off
Step 11- Put your penis in her peach
Step 12-Bump her until she moans
Step 13-Then you sperm

Oh my I am laughing so hard now that I spilled my coffee, the girl that wrote it is here now waiting to walk to school with my girls so that just makes it even funnier to me. She is so embarrassed to even face me. I had to have the “Talk” with my girls last night because they both had gotten there information from the school playground. My version of the sex talk was basically adding to the steps.

Step 1-Be 18
Step 2- Be in love
Step 3- Go to the Dr for special medicine to have safe sex

I think I did a pretty good job of explaining it, to bad a 5th grader trumped me with the details. Like I told her mom at least the kids are learning the basics and nothing freaky. Ok I need to shut up now before I spend the entire day laughing about this.

Morning music for today……

Good Charlotte-I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dance Floor Anthem)

3 Doors Down - Be Like That

Shinedown - Simple Man

Have a great day!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

mornings suck

This is not my day is only 7am and I know it is not going to be good. I woke up from my nap yesterday with a huge swollen lymph node on my left side and it has progressed to me being super stuffed up with a throbbing neck. I am not a fan of not being able to breath so this sucks. I know it is from me being stressed out my immune system is 0 right now. It also does not help that I had a lovely fist in the nose back in July from breaking up a fight and now I have a deviated septum. I need to see a ENT and have it fixed. I am pretty sure my insurance will cover it so maybe I will have it done before Christmas it would be nice to not get another sinus infection because of it. It is funny you can see it in my pictures my tip of my nose is crooked see two post down and you can see it.

OK here is what I am in the mood for today.

Break Stuff-Limp Bizkit

My Way-Limp Bizkit
mmmmmmmmmmmm yummy getting the Fred fix delish........

Have a good day!!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Morning stuff!!

Another morning of opportunity...I was going to try and be all wise and shit today but I am not feeling it. I even went to look for a quote for the day and am not feeling it. Must be the lack of joy in my heart cause this bitch is pretty much numb. My life these days are pretty much a bad country song.

So I will leave you with some non bad music. I need to recharge my soul it is feeling a bit empty.

Good Charlotte-I just want to live

Kelly Clarkson - Never Again


Velvet revolver - Fall to pieces

Keith Urban-Somebody like you

Have a fabulous day:)

Monday, November 12, 2007

Pictures & Stuff

I am pretty pumped about being able to snowboard, ski and ice tube this winter. I am pretty much in the bring on the snow mind set right now. I bought some new stuff for the winter when I was in Illinois in Aug, I went to Zumiez in Aurora and got some bad ass gear. I may have to go back because I want this, this & this still. Here is some of the stuff I did get.....

Grenade Hat, Lrg Hoodie & my Nike down ski jacket the inside of this coat is awesome and it is super light weight but warm as hell. I am sooooooooooo ready to go out and play. Well that is it I am boring today....

Monday Morning Music!!!

I am back with a little music for your morning. Today is a mix of music I am in the mood for today.

Amy Winehouse-You know Im no good

Dixie Chicks-I Can Love You Better

Sheryle Crow & Kid Rock-Picture

Christina Aguilera- Dirrty
The theme for my birthday party:) It is gonna be rocking!! If you know me and my sister you know what "Throwing elbows means" We are trouble. It is going to be a great time. My body will look as good as hers next summer I am hitting the damn gym daily...all that sweat better pay off.

Powerman 5000-When worlds collide
Thats what you get for meeting me....a collision of 2 completely different worlds.

Buck Cherry-Crazy Bitch

Rolling Stones- She's So Cold

Who does not love the Stones?

The Last Goodnight - "Pictures of You"

Have a great day!!

Sunday, November 11, 2007


I am pretty boring these days….I have some personal stuff going on that I am not ready to share. I will resume my morning music on Monday so you can look forward to that.

The kids are good, I am good feeling a bit under the weather this past week. Getting run down from the stress. I have been in bed early like before 10 the past few nights with a nap during the day. I have to have labs drawn this week that will be able to tell me a little more. I could be a bit anemic. Who knows!! Not me that is for sure.

Have a happy Sunday don’t forget to check out the new Post Secret secrets today!!


Saturday, November 10, 2007

For all my girls:)


When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch entails raising my children to be strong people who have a solid sense of personal and social responsibility, who are not afraid to stand up for what they believe in and who love and respect themselves for the beautiful beings they are.

Being a bitch means that I am free to be the wonderful creature that I am, with all my own intricacies, contradictions, quirks and beauty.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.

It means I live my life MY way.

It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak up against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

I am proud to be a bitch!

It means I have the courage & strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated, and determined.

By God, I want what I want, and there is nothing wrong with that!

So, try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.

You won't succeed.

And, if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

Friday, November 9, 2007


Hello, if you checked here yesterday and got the invited guest log in I am sorry.
I have had my brother in law on my mind this week and just happened to see this song and I cried my eyes out so I wanted to share.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Hello I am back......

Did you watch Oprah yesterday? If not you should have, her topic was Spousal Rape and Abuse. It was a very good show. Hang on while I drag out my soap box......ok we are good.

I am gonna address the topic of domestic abuse if that offends please hit the back button and come back tommorow. Are you aware that domestic abuse is a very prevalant problem? I am not talking about just physical violence I am talking about the mind fucking from verbal abuse. If some one makes you feel like less of a person then you know you are that is abuse. If your partner calls you names and degrades you, that is abuse. If money, assets, cars, kids, friends, animals or possesions are being taken from you or with held by your partner, that is abuse. It is wrong and you are better than that. Here is a quiz that may help more. As a grown child of a woman who was abused I am proof that if you do not break the cycle your children will follow right along their parents path. I married the same type of man my father was with my mother...a bad one. My husband is the same kind of man his father was to his mother. Do you see the pattern? Abuse is a cycle that needs to be broken. The guilt that follows years later is unbelievable, my momma and husbands momma feel that if they had left sooner we would not be in this situation. It is true that is why I am breaking the cycle in my house, my son will not be an abuser nor will my daughters think that an abusive relationship is a good relationship.

I have made a choice that will break this cycle.

Here is some music for the morning sorry for flaking out on everyone....

This song if for the mommas.....I love you both.....

Because I will never settle again.....

I love this song....for lots of reasons.....

I did get it from my momma

She will be loved-Maroon 5

Yes Bitches this is my fucking with it...

I could not resist this one

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

In memory

Today is the 2 year anniversary of my brother in laws death. Two years ago today he was killed by an IED on his 4th tour of duty in Iraq. He left behind a wife and 2 beautiful daughters. Please take a minute today and remember our troops and their families.

In memory of Capt Joel E Cahill, a true American Soldier.

Read about him here, here & here

Monday, November 5, 2007

Drama Ahead Beware

That is what the warning label for me should be these days, because seriously, I feel like my life is one big soap opera. I have friend I met in June and this poor person more than likely would like to turn and run cannot blame them, I would love to also.

OMG where to even start my husband was supposed to be having an important talk with his father last night, but when he arrived he found out that his mother packed up Friday and left his dad. After 40 years of being the abused wife she left….I am so damn proud of her for having the courage to do it. Now the entire family is jumping on the blame train interesting to see who stands where in times like this. I am Switzerland. I have no desire to get tangled up in this shit and can already feel the tension.

All I am gonna say on the situation is….Karma is a dirty bitch and she does not forget. She always comes back around to get you there is no escaping it….I have one event in my life that karma is going to come back around for but it was so worth it, like having dessert before dinner so bad but so damn good. I am not really worried about it.

This definitely changes my plan A, I met Tiff for lunch and we are working out plan B. There must be something in the water around here because I have 3 friends getting divorced and have 2 that just got finalized for their divorces. I think we all are just shrugging off the starter husband you know the one who teaches you all things you don’t want in a husband. Oh well life does go on…especially when you have a awesome support system.

The only fucked up thing is my husband called me and attempted to give me run down of the situation, but by the end he was blaming me for her leaving. I cannot help that I help people to be the best they can be, it is a gift.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Holy Horse Shit, Batman

Beauty is a painful thing I tell ya, I have just spent the past 4 hours being tortured by Traci. The end result a huge fucking headache and the longest freaking hair I have ever seen on this head. It is spooky....and today of all days Brent's friend Corey's wife goes psycho and he ends up having to stay here. So much for suffering privatly. Brent hates the hair calls it sewer do. I like that he does not like it. Traci and I have been talking about doing this sort of thing for abused women, giving them a new identity and helping them escape. How ironic that I am the first TOTAL makeover we do. Here are the pictures


Step 1. lose all former color with a nice dark brown...that shit burnt my head must be the beauty Gods telling no Blonde shall ever color their entire head brown.

Step 2 . Allow best friend of 14 years cornroll and sew (yes sew with a real needle) hair into my head. HURT LIKE A BITCH & THE BITCH (Love you Traci) POKED ME WITH THE NEEDLE 4 TIMES....shit felt like I was getting stiches.

Step 3. Highlight

Nice Rack picture:)

Look how long it is and freaking dark!!

Ok final results!! The first 2 are from today and the last one if from a week ago when I look at the middle one this song comes into mind

It is weird I put on my other (Professional) glasses and viola' completely new person. So do you think our idea would work?

Sat Music for the Morning!!

Yeah I know it is noon but it is a weekend. I am still having coffee just got up at 11, my girl Traci is coming out to do my hair so I am not in a huge hurry. Big changes today I will put up pictures later, you will be shocked when you see it...I am just thinking about doing it.

Here is some more music....sorry guys I will write a post later I promise....being a youtube whore has it advantages at least you all can watch the videos when I am a lame fucker and do not post.

You know you love me:)

JayZ, Linkin Park, Eminem & Dr Dre

Make the kids leave the listening and veiwing area when listening to this. My girl Jenny and I are total dirty rap lovers we play this song on repeat when we are going out. Come on every girl has a vice I like dirty rap so sue me. I can however Shake my ass quite well..thanks....

Eminem Ft. Nate Dog - Shake That Ass For Me

Snoop Dog- drop it like its hot

Jenifer Lopez feat Ja Rule - Ain't It Funny
Hmmmm ain't it funny?

Ok gotta add one more

Peter Pablo - Freek-a-Leek

I received an email from someone wanting the words to the song Black by Pearl Jam and also asking what the meaning behind the song is, well HERE is the meaning and the words are below
Black lyrics
Hey... oooh...Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did.
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?

Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?

All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be... yeah...Uh huh... uh huh... ooh...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine

Aah... uuh..Too doo doo too, too doo doo [many times until fade]

Friday, November 2, 2007

Friday Wallflower!

Seriously you want to know how lame I am tonight? I have no kids they are sleeping at the neighbors, I have money, I have a car & I have tons of friends but I am at home in my pajamas eating Skittles and drinking Morgan Diets. Pathetic I tell ya. One of my favorite former Barnhart Crane boys emailed me and invited me to drinks tonight and I said no…I am pathetic.

The candy is a change but I have lost 12lbs in 6 days from not eating. I am pretty stressed out and when that happens pretty much any food makes me gag. Sugar is good hence the Skittles. It is funny how some women eat when they are emotional…not me I stop eating. Don’t worry momma I did eat some pizza tonight and I drank all the water on the list…no there are no meds tonight…no I did not take any pain meds…I am being a good girl…promise. I know my face is looking a bit bony and yes I see some of the bones poking out trust me I am doing the best I can. Shit Brent still says I am a fat ass so were are good.

Ok I am out…I will leave you with some tunes………..


Pearl Jam-Betterman
I will find a better man....

Suck my kiss-Red Hot Chili Peppers

Bread-Baby I'm a Want You
The best love song ever!!

Sarah Johns-The One In the Middle

Sara Evans & 3 Doors Down-Here Without You

3 Doors Down-When Im Gone

Good Night!!


It is true I am a whore for youtube, I swear I do not mean to be but there is so much to see on there. I am currently supposed to be taking a shower to go to town but I am here and on my 2nd browser I am listening/watching youtube.....sad.....sad....

I am a fan of How I Met Your Mother.....pre marriage I was Barney....Jenny is Ted Mosby.....Traci is Marshall.....

I found this clip and have to share it because really riding the "tricycle" is f'ing funny I love this show.

Today I am finally getting rid of the kittens they are going to Pet Smart if anyone is interested I think they will be about 60.00 with all the proceeds going to 2nd Chance Rescue center. You also receive a rebate when you have them spayed or neutered. I will miss the little buggers they are so cute and mischievous. The little shits climbed the living room drapes so many times there are little holes from floor to ceiling on them.

Sorry I am boring this morning I slept in a little and am feeling a bit duhhhhhhhhh still. I will leave a little music and maybe come back later......

Seether-Fake It, this is my ring tone on my phone

Hinder-By The Way
My favorite Hinder song

Black Eyed Peas-My Humps

Nelly Furtado-Promiscuous Girl


I am so sick of the phone.....

Love this song alot!!!!

I am in a dancing mood today....

Buy you a drink?

A little dirty hip hop anyone??

50 Cent-Candy Shop

50-Cent-Just a little bit

Happy Friday!!! We shall all celebrate like our President:)

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Husbands....Who needs them?

My friend Kara just called and asked "Melissa how bout we just kill'em" well I am for one am not willing to give up the next 25-life I have left so pretty much not an option for me so I told her

"5 Viagra and the Parental controls"

Good Morning!!

Good Morning!! I have 3 kids up wanting candy for breakfast, nobody understands that there is no sustance in candy. No nutrition for the day serious sugar crash in about 3 hours, tremors, teeth rotting, eye twitching....damn it!!! EAT your Rice Crispies.

"But mom, why would they give it out if it is bad for you." -beats me why is pretty much everything that is a good time or good tasting bad for you?

Here are pictures from last night, Luke was Dr. Death (his words), Lil was a Hippie and Mad was a witch. I ended up taking 3 extra kids trick or treating because you know I have Sucker stamped on my forehead. BTW yes you are welcome glad I could help, nothing like saying Thank You or even asking me instead of just sending them here cause you are to lazy to take them out or buy/make them a costume. Glad I can be the one to help your child have these memories.

Big round of applause for the pile of shit I married, glad you could lie all day about how bad your knee hurt so you could not come help or even drive the kids around a bit. It was nice that you spent the entire night at the bar...funny thing is you walked there and home 3 times...did not look like the knee hurts to bad. Also your parents are fine your dad was disappointed you did not come since you said you were so tired, he understood...don't worry I told him you were great down at the bar just like you are 5 nights a week, glad I could help out.

ME-9 You-0 - I am counting just wait and see why

Anyways here are the pictures and some morning music

Eagles-Already Gone

I have my you need to find yours?

Fall Out Boy-Thanks for the memories!!

Ouch thats gotta burn

Finger Eleven-Paralyzer

This song reminds me of the "Beach Party"

Elliott Yamin-Wait For You

I love this song, it is beautiful

Pearl Jam - Black

Eddie your voice still gives me the chills...gonna come see you soon...promise...I mean it this time.... I do....your looking a little has been so long.....

Thats all folks!!!
BTW Jenny you did not escape the birthday post I will put it up when I take a new picture of you cause of course I have to have a picture of you being older than me:)