Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Love, Cancer & Inspiration

Edit: Prayers are needed for a special friend http://www.caringbridge.org/southamerica/alexia/ Thank You



I sat at my computer last night and thought about how I would word this post for along time then decided to sleep on it before I wrote it. I still do not have the perfect words but I am gonna muddle through it.

As most of my close friends and family know tommorow is my 1 year anniversary of being diagnosed with stage 1 cervical cancer. Which means that when I was diagnosed initially the cancer was still encapsulated within the uterus neck. I have had 9 pap smears in a year, a few colposcopys and the ever fun biopsy and each one has shown a marked changed in the cells present. Which means that the cancer is changing and moving at my last appt I was told the cancer has moved out of the lower 3rd and is infiltrating my other reproductive organs I am now in Stage 2B. I am scared. Even though the type of cancer I have is not very aggresive the thought of it metastasizing (moving) freaks me out. For the past 5 months I have been having some issues with my L kidney also at this point my Drs think that a total hysterectomy will increase my chances of not having the cancer spread any farther. I have had some issues with this whole situation. My very best friend and sister of my soul Jenny almost died from the same type of cancer 3 years ago. I remember how I felt the night she called and told me she had cancer. We cried for hours. Never did I imagine I would make the same call to her 3 years later. She has been here with me every step of the way. From Dr. appt reminders to babysitting me while I drank the pain away. Yes I have drank some of the pain away. Not the physical pain but the mental pain.

Having cancer is not only physically draining but it has a way of sucking every though out of your head except for the big question "Am I going to die" I do not have that answer only God does. Which brings me to a very special person who is battling cervical cancer with the grace and dignity that I myself cannot even fathom. When I found out I was sick I was PISSED and have stayed PISSED for a year. This young lady has put me in my place and showed me that really faith is all you need. Her name is Stephanie Vasofsky a young wife and mother of a beautiful 2 year old girl, who found out this week she only has a few months to live. Her words put having cancer into perspective for me:

It has hit everyone very hard and by much surprise but this fight is FAR from over. I know my days are numbered, as are yours... God knew when He created me in the womb how many days I had. He still know when I will take my last breath here on earth and IMMEDIATELY be in heaven with Him. As a selfish human, I am not ready to go and will contiue to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT, but when the pain gets to be too much and this body gives out I know where I am going... DO YOU?

I still have trouble finding the words to express how her story has touched me. Last night I watched her on Memphis Fox News and listened to her Dr talk about there are 500,000 women diagnosed with cervical cancer every year and 288,000 of them die. That is more than half. Half do you get that? A one in 2 chance of dying. A one in 2 chance that my kids will not have me here for them. 50/50, glass half full. I do not care how you word it the stats SUCK.

I hope that all of you that read my blog will take a minute and check in on Stephanie and her family maybe watch the news story I have included links for both. I have also added some links for cervical cancer information.

Staging of cervial cancer
Cervical Cancer Treatment
Treatment options by stage

2 comments:

Lucky Gem said...

I saw that you commented on my friend's Caringbridge website, Stephanie Vasofsky. I really appreciate your support. I'm sorry about you're struggles, but keep fighting. Last year, I had a LEEP done and the thought of anything coming back scares the hell outta me. Take care.

Chrissy said...

Thank you for sharing Stephanie's story. She is an amazing woman. I hate that anyone has to go through this horrible fight. I wish you the best and will back to read your story.