Hello

We went to the appointment with the Cardiologist on Monday as scheduled. The final results are Brent has Cardiomyopathy which is a big word for Heart Failure. It is not at a state where it is serious or life threatening but it is still there. He will have to take Lisinopril and Coreg daily for the next few years and be monitored monthly for awhile. We are both a little scared and unsure of the future but well the Dr said not to worry so we are going to do what he says.

The medications are used for 2 different purposes the Lisinopril dialates the blood vessels and the Coreg makes the heart beat slower and regulates blood pressure mixed together they are supposed to allow his heart to heal and beat stronger. The totally fucked thing is that all of this was caused by a virus....yes you did read that right a virus. We are not sure of what one but it does seem weird that he came down with Influenza B and has been sick for the past 8 days with a fever over 103 at times. I am not sure if that could have caused it but is a possibility.

He was on bed rest this past week and did pretty good except for Thursday when I worked he snuck out of the house and went to work. I guess the manager of Casey's a few blocks from our house told him he was crazy and she was telling on him. I know he regretted it because friday we ended up napping all day and then just watched TV for date night and slept. We are so exciting. I did let him go to work at the casino today and he was missing me and called a hundred times. He works at a casino on Sundays to help a friend who owns it out otherwise she would have to work 7 days a week. It is easy so I figured he could go. He goes back to his regular job monday. We will see how he does.

We are in the countdown for moving now we were going to start Tuesday but I think we are going to wait and move on the 1st of May. The kids will then only have 10 days of school at the new school and I switch to nights on the 15th for the entire summer I will go back to days in August when the kids go back.

I do not look forward to nights but it saves me 300 a week in daycare. If I worked days I would be paying another person 1200 to spend time with the kids and that sucks. I was thinking of doing daycare that was fun but I have found that not many parents want to spend money on making sure their kids are safe all the calls I have gotten have been regarding $$$ and if I would go any cheaper. I figure if the parents are only worried about the money then they can go to the ghetto and find some mom who is cheap and does not give a shit about the kids. I will be taking mine to the water slides and the pools all summer plus making good money still.

The kids are doing good and excited about moving, I am overwhelmed by all the shit that needs to be done prior to us moving but oh well my lovely house awaits.

Sorry this post is like a bad holiday newsletter I hate the newsy posts some do but here I am guilty of doing also oh fucking well......

Melissa

Explanation.

Let's chat about how shitty my day was yesterday. I am going to do a little soul baring if you cannot take it please come back another day.

I am one of those women that is pretty strong and always there for my family and friends the one huge weakness I have is my husband. He has the ability to make me go fucking crazy in 3.2 seconds. My biggest fear is him messing around on me. This summer we almost ended up getting a divorce and during the 6 months of us flirting with the idea of not being together there were a few things that happened that neither of us are proud about.

Fast forward to now we are in the rebuilding stage and bridges are partially rebuilt (think popsicle sticks here) I look at his phone Wensday night and find a number for a girl that he told me he wanted to date this summer. I instantly get upset sick to my stomach and pissed but I play it off because I should not have looked at his phone. But me being me there was no FUCKING way I was not going to say anything to him.

I held it in and acted sorta normal yesterday before he went to work but obviously not enough cause he left and about half hour later he called to see what was up because he knew I was upset and I straight up told him either he figures out why the fuck he felt he needed the number (just put in his phone monday) or we are done I am not playing the fence sitting game with him. Just not gonna do it. I also told him I was hurt and pissed that he had so little faith in our marriage that he needed to have a back up. He swears he had never called her but I am not so sure I believe him. He gets really jealous about stuff it makes me wonder if I am getting the whole truth.

I love the dumb fucker so it makes it hard for me to just kick his ass out and deal with his shit in my own time. We also just went and closed on our new house today at noon so I am double confused and double pissed. I asked him if being with me is what he wants and he swears I am his world and he would never hurt me but I do not know. I am super pissed that he has made me so insecure that I have to dig through his cell phone because I do not trust him further than I can see him.

I am a fucking paranoid mess and I have no one to blame but myself.


Thanks for the support girls and Tammy I have added you to my IM.

devastated

Some times you just don't understand why you should even bother today is one of those days.

I am pooped it had been a weekend that is fo sure.

Lovely little scam my husband and his father pulled on me Easter Sun. I was fully aware that we would be spending Easter with my sexy hubby's dad because of the divorce. No problemo what I was not fully aware of was that I would be cooking the entire meal at his dads house.

The kids and I arrived at 1 to hang out and put toghether the last minute food stuff for dinner at 6 not a big deal what was a big deal was sexy hubby's dad bought 2 Farmland Hams and they were sitting in the fridge still in the packages. OH NO FUCKING WAY....I thought to myself.

I poked through the cupboards and decided a trip to the store was needed so I packed up a kid and off we went. First thing after pulling out of the driveway I called hubby and chewed his ass for their dirty trickery. Second I went and bought a real ham ya know the picnic ones with the bone in.....not the pressed ham product Papa Bear had bought.

Then I went back and put together a fabulous dinner Ham, red garlic mashed potaotes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, buns and a black and white bundt cake. Can you say I am fucking fabulous? I can.....

A little funny for the day.

I am off to the Dr and out for a meeting at work, I am leaving you with some funnies for the day. Thank you to all my bloggy buddies that have volunteered for duty while I move if anyone else is interested let me know. I am excited to see what you all have to bring to the table for posts.

Easter Humor

Help a girl out here???

Ok kids I am in need of some assistance....LOL

I have been busy as hell lately and am going to be busier while we get ready to move so I have an idea. I want to invite some of you to be guest bloggers here at Melissa's corner!!!

Sounds exciting huh? I need help and you can do some shameless whoring of your own site sounds like a perfect trade. Almost like blog prostitution...and we all know we all are fans of prostitution:)

So Southern in the Rockies, Bluebella, Slick, Busy Dad, Chelle, Tammy.....anyone?? You interested?

Jana I know you are busy with Lovey but if you have time you are sure invited:)

It is one of those days

All weekend long I looked forward to having today off. I was gonna sleep in and have the hubby take the kids to school and daycare while I enjoyed being a kept woman for one day. I woke up at 7:30 and woke Lil up to shower and took a peek at my cell to check the time and saw I had 2 missed calls from work.

I was gonna ignore them and go back to bed but something inside my head said I better check and see what they wanted so I listened to the messages and relised I did not have the day off and I was over an hour late for work.

I then looked out the window and saw that Mother Nature dumped 8 inches of pretty powder last night. Oh for Fucks sake..,...It is Monday....I HATE mondays.

So instead of me sleeping in I quick jumped in the shower with Lil and got ready, fed the kids breakfast, drove them all to school and daycare then commuted 30 miles to work on shit ass roads while hubby laid in bed like a kept man.

It is Monday and it sucks!! My next day off is Sunday then back to work on Monday til the next Sunday.

It is Monday and I am thinking it sucks huge donkey dick but I did get a 50 cent raise even though I was 2 1/2 hours late for work:0

I promise that I will post soon maybe even today after the funeral. Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes.

Love,

Melissa

Husband+Closet Space=Disagreement

Allotted closet space how does this actually work?

Is it a 50/50 thing, 60/40 or what? My definition of allotted closet space is I will use as much as I need to. I think that is fair. I have more than he does but here is the division in the closet:

Him-124 items hanging (every fucking t-shirt he can cram in there)
Me-18 items hanging
Him-16 jeans-22 t-shirts folded on shelf
Me-33 jeans-60 t-shirts-snow pants-8 scrub pant-6 sweats (and its laundry day)-on shelf

I also have purses, girly stuff, wife beaters, tanks & belts and scarves in the 18 hanger count.

Hang on I will get to the point here

My husband has been bitching that I am over my “Allotted” closet space….well my response has been “I have a vagina and the words allotted closet space are not in my vocabulary” Very polite I think…so huge blowout about the space issue….I rearrange my stuff to attempt to appease him. Here is the fucked thing after all was said and done guess what his response was? Stumped?

“Where the Fuck did you get all these clothes?”

Ahhh it is true love.

Evil People

Angry is what I am tonight enraged with the evil that is in this world let me tell you a story of a woman who is 47 and disabled.

This woman was divorced in 1996 from a man who commited adultery, beat his wife, mentally abused her and was cruel to her child. She then lost her son to this man and his new wife because she worked nights trying to support her little family of 2 while ex husband lived the good life off of his new wife and her wealthy family. This man caused so much pain to his former wife and their 3 children that it took 9 years for the 3 children to actually be in the same room….it was a divorce that could be put in the books…….it was horrible. Time passes and their lives have moved on man is still married and woman is still single and rebuilding her life, 12 years after the divorce woman is injured at work and after surgeries, tests, medication & excruciating pain woman is considered disabled by doctors and is rewarded with a insurance settlement. Man calls insurance company and says woman owes him back child support and insurance check is mailed to him. He swears he will return money then changes his mind and keeps it stating “It is for son”. Man does not spend money on son ever, woman gives money, buys all clothes, CD’s, pays for sporting equipment and fees for sports for son who is now 16. Man does not even provide winter coat or basic tennis shoes.

This man is also a tax evader and owns 2 businesses, a home and equipment all in new wifes name because he owes 130,000 in back taxes because he got caught evading taxes woman has paid 30,000 via income tax return to the tax bill since it occurred while married to man, man has paid nothing not a dime. Man did however brag how he made 90,000 in 3 months with his landscaping company this summer.

Want to know how man told woman he was keeping the money she received as an insurance settlement from being disabled at work? Her disability is her hands both hands to the point somedays she cannot drive, hold a cup or make a phone call…….Thanks for the trip to Vegas I have to go take my wife out to dinner.


This woman is my mother and tonight my heart is breaking for her she had counted on that money for months, she was not going to use that money frivolously she just wanted to buy a new couch hers is 15 years old and take her kids and grandkids to a local hotel that has waterslides for a night. I think after all she has been through that she wanted very little.

I do not know how man can sleep at night I am so brokenhearted for what he has done it seems like he can just never go away.

Post surgical day 1

My Boys taking care of mama after surgery my spot was where the heating pad is...don't they look cute? Mouths open snoring like chainsaws it was great. BTW we still have not set the date stamp on the camera

Post surgical day 2....look he thinks I am number one!!

The desecration of my poor belly button.

There are some little known facts about me in the pictures the biggest one being I am a ink junkie I love tattoos nice ones, little ones, whimsy ones

My back that was done by Nei Ruffino you have seen her work if you have ever bought a My Little Pony she is the colorist for their packaging and she also does INCREDIBLE comic book color her work if Freaking Awesome. This is my lower back.

The stars are on the back of my neck.

The daisy on my left arm.

My handsome bald boy looking a bit dirty.

Thats It for tonight sorry for just throwing some pictures out and nothing good but I am tired and I have to work at 6am.

Love,

Melissa

Merry Christmas everyone!!

May your day be filled with joy, love and family.

Enjoy the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon us and never forget this holiday is about the birth of our savior. Keep him close in your hearts.

or you could be like my little man and sing

Happy Birthday Jesus, Fa La La Fa La La

Jurasic Park Fa La La La

Santas coming with a big dinosaur for me

Jurasic Park a la la la

Enjoy you holiday and I shall resume blogging the day after cause I am not a retard and running out for the after the holiday sales for Fucks sake I just finished shopping WTH would I want to do more.

Mental Breakdown or Sudden Clarity

Today's post will be in blue cause I am feeling a bit melancholy. It has been raining here for the past 3 days, kind of matching my mood. I am not a worrier or a pessimist but today I cannot shake this pissy mood I am in.

I no longer drive my minivan and I traded my Lumina (no hating on the Lumina) I went out by myself and bought me a 2000 Ford Explorer XLS. Love it!! It came with pretty much all the extras and remote start. This is my new baby.

I have drifted back toward my natural hair color, I say drifted but my mom thinks it is still to dark I can gaurentee that unless I am drunk at the salon my hair will never be that blond again. I like the brown I tried and got some pretty white highlights but that is as far blond as I am going. I really did like it red but hey we all need change and the red is hard to maintain and I am lazy!!

I made the choice to have my surgery and my husband is pissed. I am interrupting his schedule with work and I do not care. He can be pissed a few weeks of having to do his own shit and take care of HIS children is alot easier than having to do it for a lifetime if I am dead. I cannot take the chance that my children would have to depend on him for their future happiness. I have put the surgery off since May when it was originally scheduled. I am grateful I did because I had an epiphany about what I want in life and this is not it. Who gets mad at someone for taking care of themselves? I need to address his issues very soon.

I had planned on snowboarding and skiing this winter but that is not happening due to the surgery. I will not be able to do any activity where I could fall, be bumped hard or turn fast. It is due to I will only have maybe 6, 1-2 inch cuts on my tummy but I will have hundreds of internal stitches. The internal stitches is the problem I am having a major artery cauterized and numerous blood vessels sealed there is a very real chance of rupturing something while boarding. Fucking Sucks that I will have to watch and not play. I was not able to go last winter except once because I was sick from the medications. I think that is bothering me alot today. I can feel the bite in the air and my brain knows that cold & snow=fun for me . I hate being cold but I love to play in the snow.

I also received a list of stuff I am not allowed to do post op. Some are great and some just plain suck. I am not one for limitations or boundaries obeying this list will be a test of will for me. I am of the Mind over Matter mindset. I can do anything if I want to badly enough. Not this time though. Here is the list.

X - Vacuuming-NOT ALLOWED
X - Sweeping or Mopping-NOT ALLOWED
X - Carrying laundry across house to washer-NOT ALLOWED
X - Lifting, Bending, Reaching, Driving (no driving for 30-45 days post op)-NOT ALLOWED
X - Lying around the house all day doing nothing-NOT ALLOWED
X - Bending to access oven or empty litter boxes (Who is cooking for Thanksgiving)-NOT ALLOWED
X - Going to Wal-Mart for some bargain shopping-NOT RECOMMENDED
X - Pushing a shopping cart-NOT ALLOWED
X - Sitting for prolonged periods of time i.e. at computer-NOT ALLOWED
X - Opening windows, particularly the hard-to-open ones-NOT ALLOWED
X - Making other people's problems your own-NOT ALLOWED
X - Picking Tomatoes, Weeding, and other such nonsense-NOT ALLOWED

X - Sex-NOT ALLOWED (not until January)

X- Stairs-NOT ALLOWED (for 3 weeks laundry is in the basement means I am not it)

So yes it pretty much going to be a lame ass winter for me. School starts the week before Thanksgiving for me that will fill some of the time. I will be glad to be done and start to figure out my options for next fall. I may take the MCAT sooner than I thought but who knows just need to take it day by day.

OK enough lame stuff. Spiderman lives in my house now. Luke received some very cool stuff for his birthday his 2 favorites are his spiderman outfit and his crane. He has been lifting stuff with the crane for 2 days. Here are some pictures of the boy aka spiderman.

What else is new today.....I am off house confinement because I am feeling better I do still have to stick to the no-sick people rule. So if you are sick please stay away from me. I am also cheating with wearing the stupid mask when I am out in public places. I feel like Micheal Jackson when I have it on and people stare. Rude Fucks. I cannot help that I am sick so quit being rude and making me feel bad for being in public. I need groceries to and it is not like you will get cancer from me breathing on you. It is not contagious. I am very grateful to have awesome friends and family during this time or I would go nuts.

I am thinking about my next 2 tattoos I am pretty sure that they will be both of my wrists on the inside and both tats will be Celtic Knots, I have had a passion for Irish folklore for years and I want the new tats to be something that means something to me. I have decided definitely on one it is the motherhood knot shown below:

There are many variations of the knots but this is one is "A Mothers Love" and being a mom is something very dear to me so to honor my children this is the tattoo I will get on my right wrist. There will also be 3 dots added in the top of the knot to symbolize their lives.

On my left wrist it will be the Celtic Knot of Eternal life which I cannot show you because blogger photo upload is not working now. There was problems earlier to, I actually started this post this am but saved it to finish later.

Ok that is it for today.

M