Explanation.

Let's chat about how shitty my day was yesterday. I am going to do a little soul baring if you cannot take it please come back another day.

I am one of those women that is pretty strong and always there for my family and friends the one huge weakness I have is my husband. He has the ability to make me go fucking crazy in 3.2 seconds. My biggest fear is him messing around on me. This summer we almost ended up getting a divorce and during the 6 months of us flirting with the idea of not being together there were a few things that happened that neither of us are proud about.

Fast forward to now we are in the rebuilding stage and bridges are partially rebuilt (think popsicle sticks here) I look at his phone Wensday night and find a number for a girl that he told me he wanted to date this summer. I instantly get upset sick to my stomach and pissed but I play it off because I should not have looked at his phone. But me being me there was no FUCKING way I was not going to say anything to him.

I held it in and acted sorta normal yesterday before he went to work but obviously not enough cause he left and about half hour later he called to see what was up because he knew I was upset and I straight up told him either he figures out why the fuck he felt he needed the number (just put in his phone monday) or we are done I am not playing the fence sitting game with him. Just not gonna do it. I also told him I was hurt and pissed that he had so little faith in our marriage that he needed to have a back up. He swears he had never called her but I am not so sure I believe him. He gets really jealous about stuff it makes me wonder if I am getting the whole truth.

I love the dumb fucker so it makes it hard for me to just kick his ass out and deal with his shit in my own time. We also just went and closed on our new house today at noon so I am double confused and double pissed. I asked him if being with me is what he wants and he swears I am his world and he would never hurt me but I do not know. I am super pissed that he has made me so insecure that I have to dig through his cell phone because I do not trust him further than I can see him.

I am a fucking paranoid mess and I have no one to blame but myself.


Thanks for the support girls and Tammy I have added you to my IM.

devastated

Some times you just don't understand why you should even bother today is one of those days.

Evil People

Angry is what I am tonight enraged with the evil that is in this world let me tell you a story of a woman who is 47 and disabled.

This woman was divorced in 1996 from a man who commited adultery, beat his wife, mentally abused her and was cruel to her child. She then lost her son to this man and his new wife because she worked nights trying to support her little family of 2 while ex husband lived the good life off of his new wife and her wealthy family. This man caused so much pain to his former wife and their 3 children that it took 9 years for the 3 children to actually be in the same room….it was a divorce that could be put in the books…….it was horrible. Time passes and their lives have moved on man is still married and woman is still single and rebuilding her life, 12 years after the divorce woman is injured at work and after surgeries, tests, medication & excruciating pain woman is considered disabled by doctors and is rewarded with a insurance settlement. Man calls insurance company and says woman owes him back child support and insurance check is mailed to him. He swears he will return money then changes his mind and keeps it stating “It is for son”. Man does not spend money on son ever, woman gives money, buys all clothes, CD’s, pays for sporting equipment and fees for sports for son who is now 16. Man does not even provide winter coat or basic tennis shoes.

This man is also a tax evader and owns 2 businesses, a home and equipment all in new wifes name because he owes 130,000 in back taxes because he got caught evading taxes woman has paid 30,000 via income tax return to the tax bill since it occurred while married to man, man has paid nothing not a dime. Man did however brag how he made 90,000 in 3 months with his landscaping company this summer.

Want to know how man told woman he was keeping the money she received as an insurance settlement from being disabled at work? Her disability is her hands both hands to the point somedays she cannot drive, hold a cup or make a phone call…….Thanks for the trip to Vegas I have to go take my wife out to dinner.


This woman is my mother and tonight my heart is breaking for her she had counted on that money for months, she was not going to use that money frivolously she just wanted to buy a new couch hers is 15 years old and take her kids and grandkids to a local hotel that has waterslides for a night. I think after all she has been through that she wanted very little.

I do not know how man can sleep at night I am so brokenhearted for what he has done it seems like he can just never go away.