The past few days have sucked enormous donkey dick. I received a call from my mom on Wednesday that a good friend of mine was in the hospital for surgery to remove a mass on her ovary and when the Dr opened her up they found cancer everywhere. I have not seen my friend Toni in awhile but have talked to her on the phone the last time being in the beginning of Feb and she said nothing to me about being sick….not a damn word except that she had lost a bunch of weight and was really busy with her restaurant but not a damn word about not feeling good.


It seems from the conversations I have had with her daughters she did not say much to them either.

The sad thing is she is dying and right now is in the hospital strapped to a bed on a ventilator fighting to recover enough from surgery to only be told she is dying…..this is tearing me apart. The docs have told her children that they are surprised that she has lasted this long…..the docs do not know her very well she is stubborn and has the soul of a gladiator. I am sad that she did not take care of herself the way she takes care of everyone else. Sometimes you have to put yourself first she has never learned that.


Toni is one of those people that either you love her or you want to beat her we had the perfect love/hate relationship. I worked with her for 2 years and I swear the first 6 months she would have loved to kick my ass because I am such a smart ass. I got my ass chewed many a time for being a “asshole” as she likes to call me. I used to tell her I was gonna take her down and she would just give this look that would make me feel a bit guilty but also make me say something else that was equally politically incorrect. She has some back problems and used to say Oh I am dying from the pain and I would tell her no way woman only the good die young. I have great memories of her. I will be honest I think she could read me like a book, the first time I cried in front of her she laughed at me and told me to stop faking cause my cold hearted ass did not have tears to spare. I love that about her the no holds barred honesty and I am a cold hearted bitch tears are not my thing at all.

Sitting with her family at the hospital yesterday someone made a comment about her being a bitch and I more than likely stuck my size 8 right in my mouth by responding “Well that is who she is” in all honesty she is. She will tell you to Fuck off like she was saying its going to rain today. There is not a damn mean bone in her body and that makes her bitchy-ness a good quality. I have a lot of respect for her and the way she choose to live her life by her standards and fuck you all if you had a problem with it.

Please do me a favor and say a prayer for her daughters, grandkids and all the other people that love her. They could use all the help talking to the man upstairs and I will also ask that you pray for Toni to pass from this world to the next pain free and knowing she is loved.

Love,
Melissa